You’ve seen me before.
I’m the mom sitting in the restaurant with the two loud children. My toddler is singing his most recent made up song (not in an inside voice), and my 12-month-old is shrieking for who knows what reason. I am anxiously waiting for their father to show up with the food. He stands in line and orders while I sit and keep the baby beasts quiet. Or at least, I attempt to. We’ve got the routine down.
My kids are loud, which comes as no surprise to me considering the fact that both my husband and I are not quiet people. Granted, we don’t go around yelling in restaurants or grocery stores, but I think we would be considered “expressive” by most of our friends. So naturally, our children have followed suit.
Being the mother of loud children is no easy job and at times can be downright embarrassing. So before you go throwing evil eyes to the woman with the “obnoxious child” at Chick-fil-a, please try to see it from my perspective… Because sometimes, I am that woman.
- A loud child is not just loud when he’s mad, he’s loud when he’s happy, too.
When you have a loud child, it isn’t something that can be turned off with a switch. It isn’t something that happens with certain emotions, they are loud ALL of the time. Happy, mad, scared, excited… all emotions are expressive. So though you may see that child’s volume as a sign of acting out or a temper tantrum, that is not always the case. If you present my child with a new toy car, if something tastes bad, or if something funny happens, chances are very high that he will react…LOUDLY. He is this way from the moment he opens his eyes at 6 am, till he closes them around 8 pm, there are no quiet breaks (not even when watching cartoons in the morning… having a child that watches cartoons quietly sounds like a dream.)
- Just because a child is loud in the way he communicates does not mean he is rude, or a brat.
My two-year-old has got the please and thank yous down. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me that my kid was polite, I’d be a wealthy woman. Just because he’s expressive and can come off as “wild” doesn’t mean he can’t be respectful. He may just yell “TANK YOU!” loudly in your face, rather than be the kid that tucks behind their Mama’s legs and doesn’t answer when spoken to.
- Just because a child is loud doesn’t mean that he isn’t disciplined.
I won’t go into how we choose to discipline because that is not what this article is about, but trust me when I say that I truly believe that disciplining and teaching your children that there are consequences for their behavior is crucial to their development. My child does have rules and is very used to structure. However, this doesn’t change how he is genetically made. No amount of discipline can change someone’s true personality, and I would never want it to!
- Having a loud child is really fun, but honestly, can be extremely embarrassing.
Like, the kind of embarrassing that makes you feel like your body is full of hot lava and you start sweating on your back. The most recent scenario was at Target a couple days ago. My 2.5-year-old saw the big red concrete balls that are outside of Target. He got excited and wanted to play with them. Our conversation went down like this cartoon:
This wasn’t a temper tantrum. He wasn’t crying or flailing about. His eyes were wide open and he was chanting in the deepest voice he could muster, I want big balls. I want big balls. Not mad, just excited.
It was just louder than I would have liked it to be. At this point, I was flashing my fake smile to strangers all while trying to distract my toddler from repeating his new chant that he was becoming quite fond of. This is one of those times that make a funny story, but in the moment you can’t help but think to yourself. “for all that is good, please shut your miniature mouth, immediately.”
- Just because a child tends to be loud does not make him insensitive.
I can’t stress this one enough. My toddler has a very outgoing personality, but he is also very sensitive. If he sees another child cry, he stares at the bawling kid, points at them, and then starts crying himself. “HE’S SAD!”, he’ll tell me in between sobs, referring to the other crying child. Just because my child yells made up chants about big balls throughout Target, does not mean that he isn’t paying attention to other’s emotions.
- Loud kids can be the sweetest kids.
You’ve seen how big their reactions are to everyday situations, now just think of how their reactions are when it comes to someone they love. When I walk into the house after leaving the kids with a babysitter (usually Grandma), my toddler has been known to scream at the top of his lungs, “MOMMMMMYYY! EEEEEEE!” while my 12-month-old bursts into tears upon hearing my voice. It’s loud, it’s chaotic, but it’s true love and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Being the parent of a loud child is fun, entertaining, tiring, and at times uncomfortable.
To my fellow mothers of loud and expressive children, constantly working on “inside voices” and shhhhing songs about big balls throughout Target, I feel you.
The next time you see that frazzled mother, the one with a face that screams, “I just want SILENCE“, please consider throwing her a smile, she probably needs it more than you know.
-Until the next time this Redhead rambles.
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