An Open Letter To My Baby Daddy.

Have you ever thought about writing a letter to your significant other? Ever think, “Maybe, I should write my spouse a letter and blast it out to thousands of random strangers on the internet!”

No?

Well, I did and who knows, this may just inspire you to write the best freakin’ letter you’ve ever written. (Please help yourself to the Free Printable at the end of this post and write your own perfect letter to your spouse today!)

So here it is.


Dear Babe,

I wanted to take a moment to express my unconditional love for you. You know I am not so great at expressing my emotions face to face like normal humans, so confessing things to you in blog-form seemed wickedly appropriate. I hope you can see that I really did put my heart into this.

1.Thanks for being old.

Babe, when I say thanks for being old, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Some may think our twelve year age gap is gross, but I think it’s heavenly. You swiped me up at the ripe age of twenty-two when I knew nothing about filing taxes. Now, thanks to you, I still know absolutely nothing about filing taxes because you do it every year. What a gift! I worry about other important matters, like why our daughter hasn’t pooped in three days and you make sure our taxes are taken care of. It seems really fair. Because of you and your seasoned age, I can remain uneducated and ignorant.

Win.

2. Thanks for being sensitive so our kids don’t have the emotional capacity of rocks, like their mother.

I know I tease you for being the sensitive one in the marriage, but it’s really a great thing. You keep me in check and tell me when I am being an extremely large butthole.  Everyone needs this in their life, every butthole needs that sensitive person to tell them when they’ve said or done something stinky. You’re an amazing father and I love you more and more when I see how you treat our children. You show them what a real man looks like, strong but sweet. You’re the exact opposite of their asshole mother.

3. Thanks for being up on that work grind.

Day in and day out you work hard. I love you and your work ethic. However, occasionally I wish you would slack off, maybe take a few sick days when you are actually not sick at all. Maybe, take me to brunch and skip work on a Tuesday, but apparently, responsible adults don’t do that sort of thing. (Maybe you think this way due to your age.) Regardless, you work hard so I can stay home with our babies and without you, that wouldn’t be possible. Without a strong head of the household like yourself, I’d have to work outside the home, therefore causing me to complain a lot more. I’m less bitchy because of you, which we both know is priceless. You are the reason this family unit runs as smooth as it does.

4. Thanks for being obnoxiously intelligent.

I really love the fact that you know almost everything. At first, I may have though you were 25% full of crap, because you’re a man, and men tend to be. But you’re actually very smart, way smarter than I. I pray every night that our children have your “engineer brain” because if they have my creative brain they would end up poor bloggers, and no one likes poor bloggers. But they would have over 10,000 Facebook followers if they followed in Mama’s footsteps! Nobody freaking cares.

They need your brain in order to live successful lives, plain and simple.

5. Thanks for being ridiculously good looking.

Life just wouldn’t be as fun if you were ugly, so thanks for doing me a solid and being attractive. Your charm and nice face have saved your life on countless occasions and you didn’t even know it. Like, when you leave cabinet doors open all over the house… if you weren’t so easy on the eyes, you would probably already be dead. I’ve even come to terms that you are better looking than me, and that’s cool. I’m confident enough to stand back in the corner of the room, being the pale freckled red-head who sometimes can be funny. I enjoy looking at you.

Pssst – the gray hairs that are starting to poke out in your beard are hot (no sarcasm).

Now that we’ve got all the sweet stuff out of the way, I’d also like to discuss a couple of things that I need from you. Since you are my baby-daddy, I feel like it’s only fair to be completely honest about how I am feeling.

  1. I need you to take out the trash. Like, all the time. Without being asked, you can just do it all on your own and I’d be fine with that. You have a penis, and as owner of said penis, it is naturally your job to deal with any situation that may arise involving trash. It just comes with the territory. I don’t have a penis, so I can’t take out the garbage, you see.
  2. When I ask you to hang a single picture or piece of artwork, I need you to not act like I am asking you to get a sex-change. It’s really not that big of a deal, just hang it. It’ll take you five minutes… if we don’t bicker before hand.

And that’s my letter!

I love you so much. You obviously are an amazing person to put up with me every single day. I mean, I’m a good time, but I know I can be a stressful time as well… I’m aware.

I don’t say thank you enough for what you do for our family and I really should say it more often.

Please, let’s stay married forever. I can train you to close the cabinets, it’s not a deal breaker for me.

Love,

Your wife, your best friend, your baby-mama with lots-o-drama.

Jenn

Back Camera

What a sweet picture. One of my favs. 


*Did you find this letter to be the definition of perfection? Then use this “Letter to Your Spouse” Free Printable to write your own letter!*

PRINTABLEFINALFINAL

So simple! So great! I know that this free printable will do amazing things for you and your loved one.


– Until the next time this Redhead rambles.


 For more humorous and bluntly honest parenting posts like this, please “Like” my Life as a Rambling Redhead Facebook Page!

Or subscribe, so you never miss a new post! Your life will be changed for the better. Follow on TwitterInstagram, and YouTube.


LATEST POST: Dear Hypothetical Diary….

About Jennifer 68 Articles
I'm Jenn... A blunt, redheaded mommy who likes to look at motherhood in a slightly different way. This blog consists of stories of how I survive my job as a SAHM, a job that I love. I tend to like sarcasm served hot with a fresh side of dry humor. Because who really likes to take life so seriously?

9 Comments on An Open Letter To My Baby Daddy.

  1. Love this so much! Yes, men DO tend to be full of crap. But I’m glad you found one that works for you. You are hilarious. Thanks for brightening my day!

  2. Oh come on! How sarmantic is this? * I just made that one up – when you’re romantic with sarcasm. And you know I LOVE that photo! Love your love x

  3. My kids have been napping for 2 hours now and I’ve spent 1.5 of those 2 hours watching your videos and reading your blog posts…I’m pretty sure this has been the best use of naptime all week…or maybe all month. My only mistake is that I neglected to pour myself a glass of wine…which I should just go do now since they’re still sleeping!! Thanks for your amazing humor!! xoxo

    • Omg! I loved this comment so much that I went and read it to my husband! This made my week! I hope you’re following along on my Facebook page if you haven’t subscribed to the blog! I’d love to chat more with you ? by the looks of your email address, maybe you could motivate me to workout while wearing my spandex pants?! Enjoy the rest of your sweet sweet mommy-freedom time!

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: