This Woman Claims That Her Children Are Ruining Her Selfies.

DALLAS, TX- Life as a Rambling Redhead was able to get an exclusive one on one interview with the woman who claims that her children are ruining all of her selfies.

Jennifer (who refused to share her last name with us), a stay at home mom to two small children, claims that her children are to blame for her lack of quality selfies on social media.

“People like people who take selfies. I just want to be able to take pictures of my new haircut, my excessive cleavage, and how my face looks when I am stuck in traffic but I can’t. Every time I extend out my arm to take a selfie a child presents itself in the frame. I’m just beyond agitated.”

Jennifer went on to say, “I only have 703 Instagram followers, which is really embarrassing. The world doesn’t want to see two adorable babies in my photos, they want to see my OOTD (outfit of the day) or my new eye shadow shade. I just want to be able to post my “shameless selfies” in peace, that’s all.”

Below are some pictures from Jennifer’s Instagram account:


Here we have Jennifer’s “I don’t know what to wear, I have way too many clothes #firstworldproblems” selfie.

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#nofilter

Jenn states that this picture was clearly ruined because of the chubby baby arm in the background, therefore deeming this photo unworthy of posting to social media.

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Here Jennifer just wanted to show her followers a picture of her jeans, designer handbag, and her new shoes.

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She stated that this one was ruined because the child is not part of her outfit so she should not have scooted her tiny body into the photo the way she did.

“She was being extremely self-centered, it’s obvious that she thinks she looks adorable. And she’s holding a banana, so there’s that.”


In this picture, Jennifer tells us that she was trying to portray how sad she was about heading to her gynecologist appointment. Because everyone cares.

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“This photo is horrible. It’s supposed to show how sad I am about having to endure a pap-smear, but there is a Pooh-Bear in the background. Even though my kids are not in the car with me, their crap still ruins my selfies.” 

She continued, saying that she truly believes that the children leave their things lying around on purpose, like it’s a personal attack against her.


“The whole point of a selfie is to show the world how great your face looks, up close and filtered. I just want to be able to take flawless selfies and have people like them on social media and tell me I’m pretty. I often hear moms say that they just want to pee alone, I just want to selfie alone. It’s like my kids don’t want me to be happy. So naturally, I’m pissed at them.”

When we asked Jennifer how she plans to fix this problem she said that she plans on trying to take the majority of her selfies during her children’s nap times from here on out. She went on to say that she is not against staging her selfies, like her post-workout selfie, and then saving them for a later date.

“As long as I hashtag them #latergram, then it’s completely acceptable and should still be received well by my followers.”

Jennifer is very confident that her selfie-game will be restored, but until then she will continue to be extremely angry at her children.

Jennifer can be found on Instagram @theramblingredhead.

– Until the next time this Redhead rambles.


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About Jennifer 71 Articles
I'm Jenn... A blunt, redheaded mommy who likes to look at motherhood in a slightly different way. This blog consists of stories of how I survive my job as a SAHM, a job that I love. I tend to like sarcasm served hot with a fresh side of dry humor. Because who really likes to take life so seriously?

12 Comments on This Woman Claims That Her Children Are Ruining Her Selfies.

  1. You had me at the Hastagnofilter, the ‘there’s that’ banana, your amazing make-up and ‘if it’s not the children it’s their crap’ LOLOLOLOL! The only thing that will make me laugh harder is to see who runs with this as serious. I’ll go make the popcorn… can’t wait! x

  2. I’m not going to lie, it took me a moment to realize that this was a joke, which is wonderful! Once I figured it out that it was a joke, I laughed for a good five minutes. Thank you for the laugh this morning, I definitely needed it! 🙂

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