I am finally starting to accept the fact that spandex athletic pants will never grace the cover of Vogue Magazine.
I don’t think I will ever open up Glamour and read the headline:
“Spandex – Why it’s the hottest trend everyone is drooling over this season!”
Maybe in my dreams, but not here.
Not here on Earth.
If you are not familiar with who I am or my educational background, I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Fashion Merchandising. Something I can’t even say without cracking a smile. I don’t blame anyone who thinks I am lying.
Hell, I think I’m lying.
If you have read any of my previous posts, then you know that I have mentioned spandex before, because it’s what I wear. What I do.
I do spandex. Cleaning, cooking, sleeping, wipin’ butts, folding laundry, hiding in the bathroom texting while my husband has the kids for five minutes….
– all done in my spandex pants. They get around.
However, a small part of me still yearns to be cute, trendy, and “on point” when it comes to fashion. So I’ve been up late, scrolling through thousands of pins on Pinterest, melting my brain trying to find the hottest fall fashion trends.
I freakin’ pinned until my manicured fingers could pin no longer.
I found the trends, and although they may be cute (most of them at least) they just won’t do for this Mama of two.
Fall Trends for 2015:
- The Puffer Jacket
- Oversized Faux Fur Shawls
- The Car Wash Dress, Skirts, or Tops (anything that resembles the car wash flingy things that freak my two-year-old out.)
At least these fall trends are more modest than the dreadful crop top. Now that Fall is upon us, we can set fire to all the crop tops. Because who came up with that fashion trend anyway? What committee decided that crop tops were going to be cool and accepted? Like, were they just sitting around, talking amongst themselves…. “Hey let’s go with crop tops again this summer. Let’s make all the moms feel like shit about themselves. Wouldn’t that be great? Let’s make mommies cry. Done. Crop tops for summer 2015, write it down.”
Sorry I haven’t had time to sculpt my abs lately. I was busy giving birth to a human in 2015. Surprisingly, trying to keep two kids alive takes even more time away from me. Then I have to bathe on occasion. Shaving takes a ridiculous amount of time and this wine isn’t going to drink itself. Someone has to drink this wine I am holding, for Pete’s sake.
All these things add up, in time. I’ll get back in shape again some day.
Just not today. Or tomorrow.
Or anytime next week…. Next week is looking pretty busy.
Regardless, I’m just glad fall is here. Bring on the pumpkins, the oversized-oh-so comfy sweaters that I can hide my pale, freckled body under and leggings.
Because leggings are pants, people.
I decided that a video would be a fun way to portray why I am having issues with these listed fashion trends. What better way than to test them out in the field, out where all mommies roam.
Or don’t, and wear these trends at your own risk.
You daredevil, you.
Please feel free to forward on to any mommies who are putting themselves in harms way.
– Until the next time this Redhead rambles.
For more sarcastic and humorous parenting posts and videos like this, please “like” my Life as a Rambling Redhead Facebook page HERE.
My second video is already in the works! So please subscribe if you like what you see! – Many Thanks.