In Honor of the Forgotten Wedding Anniversary: Reminiscing About Wedding Photos that FAILED.

“August 6th…. I feel like we have something going on today…. do we have something going on today?”

“Not that I can think of….”

Then it hit my husband…. today was our wedding anniversary.

We completely forgot. Who does that?

I must say I was very relieved that my husband had truly forgotten our wedding anniversary (who says that?…) because I too had forgotten and had no gift to offer him.  Not even a card.

Things are crazy busy in the Todryk domain. Mike and I just had birthdays last week along with being on a family trip out of state, Mike just started school for his master’s degree on top of his already very demanding job, my son is pooping all over the house in attempt to be potty trained and my 6-month-old daughter is in some kind of monstrous growth spurt which has her eating almost 27 times throughout the night.

We’ve been distracted, to say the least.

And sleep deprived.

I mean, damn… I don’t even know what day it is.

Good thing we have a few more wedding anniversaries in our future. We’ll get it next time Bae.

In honor of this forgotten date, I thought it was only appropriate that I blog about it. I was going to write about something sappy but of course, I changed my mind like I always do. Humor ruins everything. 

Here we are. Dang, we cute!

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Well, we were cute…. But then we had kids.

Now we look like this.

Back Camera

Having children can and most likely will deform your lady goods AND your face.

Our Love Story: We met August 6th, 2010….. fell in love and got married exactly 1 year later, on August 6th, 2011 in Cancun, Mexico.

Hope I didn’t bore you with all those details.

Our wedding was amazing! It was a week long party in Mexico that included margaritas (duh), dirty monkeys (banana alcoholic smoothies), and extremely average all-inclusive Mexican food. Great time! Best part- it only took one hour to plan my wedding upon arriving in Mexico. I HIGHLY recommend a destination wedding. So fun for you and your guests and stress-free!

This now brings us to what inspired me to write today…… my wedding photos. I was flipping through a book we had made, full of our professional wedding photos and I found myself laughing at a few. Most are stunning, the backdrop is to die for. Gorgeous ocean! But some… some photos were not #gorg, but we will get to those in a bit.

Below you will see some of my favorites.

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cute.

wedding1

 charming.

weddingtrampoline

Oh yes, the trampoline shot-  a staple for wedding photos. I sincerely love this one. Very “us”. If I were to model for this photo now, there would be a very large chance that I would have a yellow spot on the front of my dress, due to urine escaping my urethra. Children have done my bladder in. When I jump on trampolines, I run the risk of pissing myself. It’s high risk.

weddingsunset

Kissing on rocks.

So, part of the “wedding planning” was choosing your photographer. You could either choose a photographer who was more on the traditional side or one who was more creative and artistic. Of course, we went with artistic, because who wants boring photos? This was before Pinterest was huge, like it is now, so I couldn’t whip it out on my phone for inspiration.

Our photographer, who was assigned to us, was Alex. Alex got some great shots, as seen above, but Alex’s version of artistic was….. odd.

Let’s take a look at a few #weddingphotofailsbyalex, shall we?

First up, welcome to the blog “Pull your man by the tie” wedding photo.

weddingpulltie

….. because, that’s normal.

Look at Mike’s face. He’s carrying sunglasses. Why is my bouquet out in front of my body? (As instructed by Alex himself.)

And why am I pulling my groom by his tie? I think that’s the most obvious question here. Is it supposed to be sexy? I do look happy to be doing this. Nailed that.

Alex. You had one job.

Next up, please welcome, “Angry in an Elevator” wedding photo.

weddingelevator

…Why? Whyyyyyy.

I look sweaty, pissed and possibly high.

Am I about to faint? Is this why I am leaning against a dirty elevator? Mike looks like he is attempting to look angry. He’s looking at me like I just told him I ran up debt on our credit card bill. You went over the limit on the TJMaxx card again, Jenn?

Still holding that bouquet, though. Gotta make sure I look like a bride in the elevator. Wouldn’t want anyone to be confused.

Alex. This is so awesome stupid.

Don’t fret. I have more.

Next up, the “GQ” wedding photo.

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Do we look like we just got married?

No. No, we do not.

Mike is wearing sunglasses….. in the shade.

It’s a cool picture for a cigar or alcohol ad in a men’s magazine. Or for a wedding photo in Cancun, obviously. Please take note of the lady in the background, far left, sitting at the bar admiring our photo shoot…. from behind a tree.

Alex. There is a lady PHOTOBOMBING my professional wedding photo.

You’ve failed me, Alex.

Lastly, this photo falls right in the middle. I can’t decide if it’s horrible or incredibly awesome, the “kick yo bride in the face” wedding photo.

weddingkick

Look at Mike’s herkie jump! That’s really impressive and I’m not even being sarcastic. Straight front leg and everything. Well done my love! Too bad I over extended a tad on the head throw, makes it look like he just bashed my nose up into my face, red hair all strung out, easily could be mistaken for hemorrhaging blood.

And I’m about one inch from a nipple catastrophe. I am aware that it’s breastfeeding awareness month, but if there is no baby attached to the nipple, well, then I believe that just makes it inappropriate nudity.

That would have been good, Alex.

I love all these pictures, for one reason- they are of me and my handsome, older, much smarter, better half. I do love that man! Because of this man, I birthed these things….

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Here is my just-turned-two-year-old. Mr. V.

I mean, come on now. I know I’m bias, but he’s so stinkin’ cute. And I do mean stinkin’ literally. This little terrorist has laid pipe on the carpet twice this week…. while staring me right in the face. Potty training – Not a fun party.

And the newest, pinkest addition….

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Miss B. Love this sweet smiley girl. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…. she really is the perfect baby.

Except this growth spurt nonsenseMy nipples are about to walk off my body, due to being over worked. They are about three days away from throwing in the exclusive breastfeeding burp cloth. I just know it. 

Happy Anniversary Mike. You’re my One.

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#tallhairDOCAREbecauseIlooktallerthanmike

boo.

– Until the next time this redhead rambles.


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About Jennifer 68 Articles
I'm Jenn... A blunt, redheaded mommy who likes to look at motherhood in a slightly different way. This blog consists of stories of how I survive my job as a SAHM, a job that I love. I tend to like sarcasm served hot with a fresh side of dry humor. Because who really likes to take life so seriously?

17 Comments on In Honor of the Forgotten Wedding Anniversary: Reminiscing About Wedding Photos that FAILED.

  1. This was hilarious! But it was a beautiful wedding in a beautiful place…….we were blessed to be there.

  2. OMG!!! I read your blogs to Kev…this time I was laughing so hard I cried…and he was laughing at the blog and at me because I was laughing so hard! Thanks for sharing!

  3. Well done Jenn! You had me laughing so much I woke my son who was sleeping in my arms! Love your sense of humor

    • So glad you enjoyed! We think the photos are beautiful… just some of the poses… haha Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment! I’m sure there will be many more posts to come of me making fun of myself, I tend to do this often 🙂

  4. A friend of mine shares your stuff all the time. I’ve NO idea why it’s taken me so long to read you. Thought we were following one another on Twitter actually. There is nothing bad about this post. Nothing! I almost broke a rib laughing. I know it’s an ‘old’ post but have to put this in my next #blogstars round up. Thanks for the belly laughs.

    • I just saw your roundup! I suck at Twitter, I check it maybe once every two months, HORRIBLE. My blog’s Facebook page keeps me busy!! Thanks so much for including me! I appreciate it so much!!

  5. God you’re a good looking pair aren’t you – even in your ‘bad’ shots 🙂 I discovered you tonight via #BlogStars , so glad I did, you have a new fan from across the water. Oh, and yes obviously you make beautiful babies too. ps this is way better than any anniversary card.

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